47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
