Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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