TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize