Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
