I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
