ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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