Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
What drink are we having for lunch?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I supernannyed him into submission
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
