i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
