I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
