I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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