Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Randomize
