Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize