When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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