Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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