so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
