ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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