fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
