Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
