she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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