So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
