it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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