You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
