good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
