Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
