woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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