he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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