He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
