we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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