Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
