you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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