Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
