i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
why is half of my head shaved?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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