I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
