there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
