I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
