I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
