No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize