sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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