hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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