I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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