if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
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Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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