allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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