If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
