You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize