At least make sure they are 18
Why
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
