Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
time to smoke my breakfast
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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