he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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