Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
