she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
