I think im going to throw up on grandma
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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