i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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