I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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