Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
