I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
