I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
