oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
