I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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