I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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