i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
