I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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