I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
