I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
