honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
