I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
foreskin is a definite game changer
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
