I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
