omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
